I recently stopped drinking coffee. This also means sugar is no longer a daily part of my life. This doesn't sound important at all but it is. First, the reasons. I stopped drinking coffee to relieve myself of guilt while scanning our credit card statement. Those seemingly benign $1.50 purchases, when compiled into an itemized list on your computer screen over the course of a week, almost makes you feel dirty, irresponsible, wasteful, even? The feeling of dependence on this daily treat also contributed to this decision. To most people, one cup a day is modest. Yet, regardless of one cup or ten cups a day, I bought into a pattern I had set for myself and now, that pattern owned me. So, just like that, I stopped.
In the past month I've had one black cup of coffee. And I feel great. Contrary to the commonly espoused benefits of coffee, I feel more focused and relaxed; less anxious and more comfortable, more myself. I honestly feel like a different person. Sure, I get those morning and afternoon lulls when you would kill anything to get that quick bump in your system. But I've noticed these lulls pass as quickly as they come, and my body naturally wakes itself up and provides the energy I need to focus and keep going.
As odd as it sounds, drinking coffee--particularly sugary coffee--seemed to stifle my creativity. When faced with any simple project, I was all over the place and couldn't focus to pin down even one idea. Now, I feel like all my senses have opened up; like I've been freed from feeling mentally and creatively bound. I also feel like I can fully appreciate other people's creativity which I couldn't do before. Seeing others develop their art and make incredibly fantastic and innovative things used to send me into an anxiety frenzy instead of absorbing it, appreciating it, and learning from it. It all sounds ridiculous and uber-dramatic, but it's the truth. Creativity is so important to me and I feel like we've finally been reunited after years and years apart.
I'm surrounded by such amazingly talented people. I can't wait to dive into the breadth of talent that is found in each and every person. There is so much life and wonder and so little time to really give it the attention it deserves. So here's to pushing beyond our imaginations and embracing what we were designed to do... to use these gifts God's given us responsibly and without restraint.
Coffee and sugar, I do love you and will seriously miss you, but our time must come to an end. Thanks for the incredible memories but now I need to make some new ones without you.
Kimi
